There are some things you just have to have in your pouch no matter what, specially if you’re trying to show that you’re eventually age-old enough to have one embarking upon. Here are the seven items to keep in your purse 24/7 had demonstrated that you’re “re ready for” it.
1. A library card : b> Okay, so if you’re trying to pass for someone who’s your mom’s age, the first thing you need to know is that adults ever carry around library cards because they’re always going to the library. Whatever you do, do not leave the house without that card, because if you do, everyone at your local library will know you are a child. Also, make sure to keep it in a huge wallet that’s filled with PG-1 3 movie ticket stubs and expired Target gift cards that your grandma let you have, because go up, duh, you’re not a baby.
2. Tampons: Reality: Adults carry around tampons because they are constantly getting their intervals. Even if you haven’t watched a single sign of puberty on yourself yet, it’s key that you fill your purse with as many tampons as you can. You don’t have to know what the different-colored wrappers mean–what’s important is that you merely continue a bunch of them in your purse and announce that you have aches any time you walk past an adult!
3. A calculator : b> Parents use calculators all the time to figure out stocks or gas costs while they’re on the go. What’s important is that calculators have numbers on them and, if you don’t have one yet, they’re basically cell phone. If person sees you walking to your friend’s house with a calculator in your purse, they won’t think twice about your age; they’ll just see a fully grown adult on their morning commute.
4. An entire container of tissues: This is a must-have when it comes to showing that you’re mature enough for a handbag, because adults use tissues to dab at things on their faces and to likewise be sick 90 percent of the time. You should have at least one full-size container and at least a dozen travel-size packets anywhere you go, and simply to make sure you drive it home, be sure to talk about your allergies and how they’re affecting your marriage.
5. A USB drive or a bunch of loose batteries : b> Like any grown up, you need to be ready for computers. Either of these will do.
6. Mail: Anyone age-old enough to have a handbag knows that they need to take their mail to and from different places. Your momma has mail all the time. She gets mail because mansions have mail and she has a house. Mail is full of things that will demonstrate you’re mature enough to rock your new handbag: bills, videos, jury-duty magazines, a letter about how bathroom renovations are very expensive, and renders. If you keep a bunch of mail in there, you’ll be golden when it comes to rocking your handbag without suspicion.
7. Keys to things: You’ll have to steal these from various people, but it’s penalty because they probably already have a lot of them. Also, don’t forget to say things like “I lost my keys” when you’re reaching through your suitcase. Bottom line, as long as the keys are loose and mixed in with four or five packs of gum, you’ll pull off that handbag with no problem. So why are you waiting for? Go out there and prove to the world you’re an adult already!